Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Snail sex!

I am still swamped here, and I understand that Friend of the Blog Renee is in the same predicament, so send her some happy thoughts.

I didn't feel I could spare the time to walk this morning (the wind and rain didn't encourage me any), but I did get out yesterday and ran across a pair of amorous snails. I think snails are charming, unlike slugs, which are repulsive--proof of the importance of fashion. The downside of snails is that they crawl onto the trail and are so perfectly camouflaged that I never see them before I feel that special snappy crunch underfoot. Not a good feeling.

Yesterday, though, I was more sharp-eyed than usual and saw two snails getting busy before I stomped them to oblivion. I'd never seen snail sex before, so I crouched down to watch (they didn't mind.) I actually was a little unsure whether what I was watching was snail sex. It could have been snail fighting--I mean, how could you know for sure?

A guy came along the trail, and I felt the need to explain what I was doing. Otherwise he might think I was odd. I asked him, "Do snails mate?"

"I'm sure they do. I imagine it takes a long while." He walked on. "Have a nice day."

I hung out for a few more minutes, but he was right. Proceedings looked like they'd take a while. I lacked the voyeuristic stamina, so I put a big stick down next to them to save them from the footfall of the next hiker, and went on my way.

Fortunately, the Internet offers every kind of virtual erotica, no stamina required. Go here to see some real live snail porn.


leopoldo said...

I think they can keep going for up to a day. Sheesh.

Bozo said...

Remember the old New Yorker cartoon where the snail falls in love with a scotch tape dispenser?

BitterGrace said...

Gee, I don't, Bozo, but I wish I did!

Lee, I have to wonder what that's like for them. I mean, how exhausting ...