Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Five telltale signs you may be a perfume whore



















1. You buy dupe oils of the same discontinued favorite from 3 different flea market sellers and obsess over which one is better--even though you still have a nearly full bottle of the real stuff at home.

2. When you're stuck deciding between two perfumes for a special occasion, you spray one of them on your wrists and carry a purse atomizer of the other one, figuring you can find a ladies room to scrub and switch if necessary; or, when that seems impractical, you spray a different perfume on each wrist and let god sort it out.

3. Weeks after testing, you still mourn the fact that the new Halston launch was so good when it first went on, but then decayed into a particularly horrible salty/sweet amber that made you queasy.

4. Even though you know from long experience that a certain bestseller makes you feel faint (and not in a good way), you still take a whiff every time you pass a tester bottle. You simply must figure out what people like about that stuff...

5. Your dear mother--who lives two hours away and rarely visits--drops by unexpectedly just to see how you are, and you spend most of her visit trying to figure out if there's any way you can get her to give you the bottle of Cinnabar she never wears.


Eve After The Fall, Alexandre Cabanel, 1863.

16 comments:

chayaruchama said...

Ain't THAT the truth....

You also look through 40+ years' collection and think:
"I haven't a thing to wear !" ;-0

You pack perfumes instead of clothes, when travelling.

You muse about which scent will pleasure your pets the most that day....


Bedtime ablutions includes the scrupulous scrutiny of annointment-
Even though it is said that one CANNOT SMELL while asleep, LOL.

BitterGrace said...

Ha! Don't even get me started on the hassles of travel--especially with the TSA regs on liquids (grrr).

Who says we can't smell in our sleep? I can, and do...

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious... did you go inside my head?
So, what's the mystery perfume in part 4? I'm dying to know.
Nika

Mary said...

My only advice is to find a way to GET THAT BOTTLE OF CINNABAR! :)

BitterGrace said...

I plan on it, Mary. Maybe I can talk her out of it for my birthday.

Nika, do you suppose there's a cure for what we have? Would we want there to be? FWIW, my nemesis is CK Euphoria. I have whined about it a lot since it came out. For some reason, it's a complete horror to me. I guess the mystery is not "What do other people like about it"--it's "Why does it repulse me so much?"

Nika said...

A cure? I'm fine, who says I need a cure:)
Euphoria, I haven't smelled that one and had no inclination to. Of course now I'm curious.
Now Oudh Laquer...I've been hearing it speak to me since I read the review. Do earplugs work in this case, I wonder?

Julie H. Rose said...

Most enjoyable!

I'm not quite there yet, but that's because I'm basically unemployed. Now, a person with a serious case might resort to feeding their habit with what many junkies do to get a fix, but I don't know of anyone that far gone!

And I'll keep applying scent before bed. . .I love falling asleep to a nice fragrance.

Tania said...

True, dat. And LOL!

I've got another one - when you've ordered perfume online, you start obsessively watching for the postman, and curse inwardly every time the post brings only another bunch of bills and junk mail!

As time goes on, the inward cursing becomes less inward. In the UK we have recently been subjected to many postal strikes and subsequent backlogs. I'm awaiting six scented packages, and so far, nothing! Grrrr!!

Alyssa said...

So what does it say about me that I'm thinking -- why doesn't she just decant some from that Cinnabar bottle the next time she's visiting? Mum will never have to know...

BitterGrace said...

Nike--Oudh Laquer? I must investigate...

Julie, I've never fallen that low myself, but surely someone has. I'd suggest posting the question at POL, but it would probably be censored.

Tania, I know that feeling too well. If I have wait more than a couple of days for a package, I get very antsy. It's an exquisite agony, though.

Alyssa, you are a temptress ;-) Actually, I might do that, but I'm going to have to think of an excuse for emerging from her room reeking of Cinnabar...

BitterGrace said...

Yikes, Nika--I accidentally renamed you. (The winged goddess, of course, not the sneaker company.)

dissed said...

I order samples. Two days later -- too early -- I stop wearing perfume, because I'll need to sample as soon as it arrives. It takes ten days for it to arrive. Ten days of unscented lotion.

I give my mother, who adores roses, my Fleur de The Rose Bulgare. I'm never going to wear it again, anyway. Two years later, I begin to crave rose. The FdTRB sits on Ma's dresser, untouched. Will I steal it back? Maybe. Except that I'm waiting for the new rose samples to arrive, and I'll need to sample.

BitterGrace said...

You're not a perfume whore, dissed, you're a perfume triathlete--what discipline! I can't do without scented lotion for more than a day.

Anonymous said...

Yep, Oudh Laquer by Liz Zorn, as if I need more things to obsess over...
Here's the link:
http://www.nathanbranch.com/2009/09/liz-zorn-perfumes-oudh-lacquer.html
Please don't say you haven't been warned.
Nika

ScentScelf said...

Doomed. I am doomed.

No MIL in my life with a bottle of Cinnabar, or equivalent treasure...does it count that I daydream of a (non-existent) aunt who has one?

Back ups of back ups, because they are such a deal? And you can always gift someone...

BitterGrace said...

Oh, absolutely, back up of back ups are a sure sign. Especially if you bought them not knowing you already had a back up.

If I get that Cinnabar, I'll share ;-)