Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The paradox of tolerance



















I posted this article from The Independent on my Facebook page yesterday, primarily for its considerable freak value, but I've found myself thinking about its observation that "the espousal of unusual beliefs should not be interpreted as proof of mental illness." I'm not sure that assertion really applies to Mr. Shayler. Believing you are Jesus, that he was a "tranny," and that hemp will save the Earth is a trifecta of wackiness that strains the psychologist's theory, to put it mildly. Nevertheless, I think it's generally worth remembering that a person's ideology is not only a poor indicator of his mental health, it actually tells you almost nothing else of importance about him.

I look around at my circle of friends and acquaintances, and I marvel at the variety of odd beliefs we hold. Our politics range from the edge of fascism to way left of Moonbatville. Religious weirdness is rife among us. We include all varieties of Christian, a few Buddhists, Hindus, devout atheists, an ex-Moonie, and of course, my own cohort of tree-hugging Pagans. All these traditions are equally strange, if you consider them objectively. But somehow, happily, all these troublesome beliefs never get in the way of our human connection. One of the smartest, best people I know believes that the earth is 6,000 years old. I think that belief is completely irrational, but I know my friend well enough to understand that it would be a terrible mistake to confuse the person with the tenet. That said, there's no denying that this dubious belief is part of my friend's chosen identity, and I am compelled to respect that if I hope to honor our relationship. This is the paradox of tolerance; of all love, really. We have to acknowledge our deep differences without letting them divide us.


A Protestant Allegory, Girolamo da Treviso, 1538-44. (Read an account of this work here.)

6 comments:

Nancy said...

But doesn't your tolerance of tenets depend somewhat on those tenets tolerating you (and other people/things that you tolerate)? It's easy to accept a friend's belief in virgin birth or transubstantiation... harder to live with friend's a belief that homosexual kids need to be "cured" to avoid hell, or that only white people have souls. At least to the extent that people's beliefs motivate their behavior, belief and character are related.

BitterGrace said...

Of course, tolerance--or the form that tolerance takes--depends on the nature of the belief you're confronted with. But my point is that belief and character are only very loosely related. It's not quite as simple as "hateful belief=hateful person." For instance, haven't you ever known someone who espoused a truly vile belief, but who was fundamentally a good person? I certainly have. There's often an enormous gap between what people believe and how they behave in the world. We all know that, but tend to forget it when we move outside our personal circle. I think it's usually a mistake to make assumptions about people based on the credo they've chosen for themselves. Obviously, there are limits to that approach, but I think it's generally better to value the person over the ideology when you can. Even if you decide you have a duty to change someone's mind, your best hope of doing that is by engaging them on a human level, not explaining to them how stupid/evil/bigoted they are.

Whodoo said...

Those sound like excellent theories, indeed.

BitterGrace said...

Welcome, Whodoo.

Julie H. Rose said...

I, too, know more than a few people who have "hateful" belief systems who are delightful people to be with. And on the other hand, I've known even more people who hold truly beautiful ideologies who are nearly impossible to be around. In the end, all I can say to this is that people are irrational, illogical, and perhaps that personality trumps ideology.

BitterGrace said...

As another friend says, quoting Harold and Maude, "Consistency is not really a human trait." Something like that...